What are the expectations couples should have for angbao contributions from guests?

Learn what expectations couples should have for angbao contributions from guests

By WeaveBlissLast Updated January 29, 2025

What are the expectations couples should have for angbao contributions from guests?

Weddings are a time of joy, celebration, and, in Singapore, a fair bit of angbao (red packet) etiquette. While much has been said about how much guests should give, what about the couple’s expectations? Should they expect angbaos to cover the cost of the wedding banquet, or is it okay to accept whatever guests can afford? Let’s dive into the perspectives shared by redditors from AskSG on this topic.

The Data: What Do Couples Expect?

Based on a discussion on r/askSingapore, here’s a breakdown of what couples think about angbao contributions:

No Expectations, Just Gratitude

Many couples view angbaos as a bonus rather than an obligation. They prioritize the presence of their guests over the amount given.

Covering Costs

Some couples hope that angbaos will help offset the cost of the wedding banquet, especially if they’ve chosen an expensive venue.

Personal Preference Over Market Rates

Others believe that guests should give based on their financial ability and relationship with the couple, rather than adhering to market rates.

Why Some Couples Don’t Expect Angbaos to Cover Costs

Weddings Are a Celebration, Not a Transaction

Some emphasize that weddings are about celebrating with loved ones, not about recouping costs. As they put it, 'Any angbao is a bonus.'

Budgeting Within Means

Planning weddings within budget ensures couples don’t rely on angbaos to break even.

Avoiding Awkwardness

Opting for smaller, more intimate weddings helps avoid putting financial pressure on guests.

Why Some Couples Hope for Angbaos to Cover Costs

Expensive Venues

Couples who choose luxurious venues often hope that angbaos will help cover the high costs. However, one redditor pointed out, 'If you want to hold the wedding at a grand and luxurious place, then you shouldn’t be expecting people to give angbao that would cover the cost.'

Cultural Expectations

In some cases, couples feel pressured by traditional expectations to recoup costs through angbaos. However, this mindset is increasingly being challenged.

Filling Tables

With venues often requiring a minimum number of guests, couples may invite acquaintances to fill seats, leading to mixed expectations about angbao contributions.

Key Takeaways

It’s About the Celebration, Not the Money

Most couples agree that weddings should be about celebrating love, not about financial transactions.

Budget Wisely

Couples should plan weddings within their means to avoid relying on angbaos to cover costs.

Respect Guests’ Financial Situations

Guests should give what they can afford, and couples should appreciate their presence over the amount given.

👉 Here’s how some redditors feel about angbao expectations.

eilletane

Any Ang Pao is a bonus. It’s a celebration for my friends and family. Anyone feeling like they were given less shouldn’t even have a wedding in the first place, sounds so transactional. You’re a host, you shouldn’t be expecting anything.

TofuDonburi

From a couple's POV, if you want to hold the wedding at a grand and luxurious place, then you shouldn't be expecting people to give ang bao that would cover the cost. Honestly wedding trends have changed over time and couples are inviting people for the sake of filling up the tables, instead of inviting those they really want at their wedding. It's the "risk" the couple choose to undertake if they choose an expensive venue.

The Bigger Picture: Cultural Shifts

The debate over angbao expectations reflects a broader cultural shift in Singapore. While traditional norms once dictated that guests should cover their share of the wedding costs, modern couples are increasingly prioritizing personal values and relationships over financial obligations.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, weddings are about love, celebration, and the people who matter most. Whether couples expect angbaos to cover costs or simply appreciate the gesture, the most important thing is to celebrate without letting financial expectations overshadow the joy of the occasion.