In Singapore, weddings are more than just celebrations of love—they’re also a cultural minefield of traditions, expectations, and unspoken rules. One of the most debated topics? The angbao (red packet). Specifically, should you give an angbao based on the market rate of the wedding banquet, or is it okay to give based on personal preference? Let’s dive into this age-old question and see what Singaporeans really think.
The Data: Market Rate vs. Personal PreferenceBased on responses from a discussion, here’s a breakdown of how Singaporeans approach giving angbaos:
Follow Market Rate
Many Singaporeans believe in giving an angbao amount that matches or covers the cost of the wedding banquet. This approach is rooted in fairness and tradition, ensuring the couple isn’t left footing the bill for their guests.
Give Based on Personal Preference
Others advocate for giving according to financial ability, closeness to the couple, or personal sentiment. This perspective prioritizes the emotional aspect of gift-giving over strict financial calculations.
A Blend of Both
Some suggest a middle ground—giving based on personal preference but still trying to cover costs, or giving slightly more if the couple is close.
Fairness
It ensures the couple isn’t left footing the bill for their guests.
Tradition
It’s seen as a way to respect the couple’s investment in hosting a lavish event.
Transparency
With banquet costs widely known, it’s easy to calculate a 'fair' amount.
Financial Ability
Not everyone can afford to match the market rate, especially for high-end venues.
Closeness to the Couple
Some believe the amount should reflect their relationship with the couple, not the cost of the meal.
Cultural Critique
Many feel that the expectation to cover banquet costs is outdated or overly transactional.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Answer
Whether you follow market rates or give based on personal preference, the choice depends on your relationship with the couple, your financial situation, and your values.
Cultural Tensions Exist
The debate reflects a broader tension between traditional expectations and modern, more personal approaches to celebrating weddings.
The Middle Ground is Popular
Many Singaporeans advocate for a blend of both approaches, balancing practicality with personal sentiment.
timlim029
I give as per the table rate. If I can't afford it or feel it's too much, I just turn down the RSVP.
furkeepsfurreal
Not really close friends or siblings means that I’d most likely not go.
Once upon a time, I went for a secondary schoolmate’s wedding after we bumped into each other at the gym. I was young and naive and didn’t realise I was the seat filler. Ever since then, I ONLY accept wedding invites from very close friends. I give minimally market rate plus any additional blessings.
For distant relatives, I tell my parents I don’t wish to go. Waste time waste money and I’ve never enjoyed the song and dance of wedding banquets. Before anyone says I’m the grinch, my stance was similar for my own wedding - simple, with a focus on food, cosy number of guests. Zero friends of the couple were invited. Stress free and quite fun for an introvert!
The angbao debate isn’t just about money—it’s about cultural values. On one hand, there’s the traditional expectation that guests should help offset the cost of the wedding. On the other hand, there’s a growing sentiment that weddings should be about celebrating love, not financial obligations. This tension is reflected in the comments, with many Singaporeans critiquing the transactional nature of angbaos.
Final ThoughtsSo, do Singaporeans give angbaos at market rate? The answer is: it depends. While there’s a slight preference for the personal approach, both perspectives are well-represented, highlighting the nuanced views of Singaporeans on this topic. Ultimately, the "right" amount to give depends on your relationship with the couple, your financial situation, and your personal values. Whether you follow market rates or give from the heart, the most important thing is to celebrate the couple’s happiness and new journey together.
